Having watched the segment on working moms (premium content, requires free login) on last Sunday’s Carte Blanche, the subject of balance touched a chord, yet again. Very aptly put by one of the interviewees, we seek the “Three C’s” in career, cash and children and many, as in my case, are ever-optimistic about balancing the three. As we move into the Connection Economy, women have huge value to add, both within a work and social context, and are becoming increasingly aware of it too. And as our talents become more valued, so the demand on them increases as does the tendency to spread ourselves as thinly as possible to keep everyone happy (yet another of our many virtues!).
So where is the balance when there is a strong need for a sense of purpose, value and independence and simultaneously a committment to nurturing and raising balanced, secure children? It’s a juggling act like no other and working flexi-time from home makes it no easier. There are many days when I reflect on the amount of times I have had to switch roles in the blink of an eye from mom to wife to businesswoman to taxi driver to daughter to friend to grocery-shopper to sister to cook to employer to cricket/soccer/tennis player to… let’s not even go there!( Sam Cowan – I’m with you on that one, girlfriend!). The psychologist in the segment points out that one has to strike a balance which works FOR YOU which is where I realised there is a 4th “C” that essentially needs to straddle the others – “choice”. This is one hurdle that seems to face many women today in that we don’t feel we have a choice in forcing the balance.
Having been blessed with amazing multi-tasking abilities but burdened with a need to prove them (and often perfectionism to complicate things further!), we take on whatever comes our way and in doing so, the balance we seek is ever-elusive. Until such time as we are prepared to make the tough choices and say “no” to those tasks and responsibilities which threaten our own personal balance, we’ll never be those imaginary perfectly in control women! On that note, I sign off to tackle my list of 101 “have to do’s” before lunch.
The Three C’s of the Connection Economy Women
So true Ang. When I chatted to a well meaning colleague and said that I was a perfectionist, who is only happy giving 100% of myself, his advice was so valuable… He said it is so important to define the times of the day dedicated to each role you find yourself playing and when in those times eg: 8.00 – 1.00pm for work, give 100% of yourself to work and if afternoons are for kids, give them 100% of yourself every afternoon and same for evenings as wife to your husband. As I find myself about to take on a new career, I am definitely going to take his advice to save myself a lot of anxiety/guilt etc.
Jan, your last statement is the one that strikes me the hardest. I find it so interesting that we women are quite capable of juggling careers with being a wife and mother, but the thing we struggle with the most is guilt, and the anxiety that goes along with it. Do men have this internal struggle?