I know I am referring a lot to Inc magazine today, but its good stuff…
The last page had a short piece on conflict in the workplace, and a consultant that goes beyond conflict “management” and “resolution” to conflict transformation. Read the full article here.
“In the workplace, our primary impulse is to turn down the tension thermostat. We paper over real and meaningful disputes in an anxious rush to create consensus—even if that consensus is largely artificial. Simply put, we are uncomfortable with conflict… It’s nice to pretend that we work in a no-conflict zone. But that’s a myth—an unhealthy, even disastrous, one. Unresolved conflict stirs up anxiety, fear, and frustration. Elaborate defense mechanisms arise, which hamper an organization’s ability to operate effectively.”
A lot of conflict is suppressed because we don’t feel confident enough in our relationships to actually test them with a good fight. I don’t think any team can be called a team until they’ve recovered from a good fight. Working through conflict to the excellence on the other side is always helpful. I like the idea of “conflict transformation”, and I think that TomorrowToday.biz could play well in this space.
Conflict Transformation
Harmony is not the outcome of diversity. Conflict is. And ‘conflict transformation’ is a great idea to help others embrace the idea that conflict is good. No, conflict is great. And if conflict is healthy, and diversity is a natural source of that conflict then we need to investigate diversity a whole lot more than we do.
Harmony is not the outcome of diversity. Conflict is. And ‘conflict transformation’ is a great idea to help others embrace the idea that conflict is good. No, conflict is great. And if conflict is healthy, and diversity is a natural source of that conflict then we need to investigate diversity a whole lot more than we do.
I once heard that there 3 steps to reaching/finding true community.
1 – connection (where you find meaning and relationship with a group of people)
2 – conflict (where the honeymoon ends and you end up facing the reality of being different people with likes and dislikes)
3 – true community (the place where you move beyond conflict being seen as a threat and where it becomes a necessary part to reconnect with the meaning you found that was the reason you first entered into relationship)
All too often, groups/friends/forums/teams/bands/companies reach step 2, get scared and then bail out citing “differences” as the reason they coudln’t work thigns out. Just think of how much we’re losing out on by bailing out!
The description of conflict is “A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash; Psychology. A psychic struggle, often unconscious, resulting from the opposition or simultaneous functioning of mutually exclusive impulses, desires, or tendencies; Opposition between characters or forces in a work of drama or fiction, especially opposition that motivates or shapes the action of the plot.
Diversity is so vital to our economy and so is innovation. And conflict is what stirs the pot. The last thing you want in a company is where everyone agrees on everything all the time.
But if not managed properly, it’s easy for personal agendas and misunderstandings to completely derail any process.
Our team is working through a way of healthy conflicting. We all understand at the outset that anything said is not meant to be personally hurtful, undermining, derogatory or spiteful. That the intention of each person is not to hurt the other but to find a solution or move forward.
This then gives everyone the freedom to speak their mind and be completely transparent, without having to couch it in politically correct or safe language.
And so what you get is very healthy debate, disagreements and ruffling of feathers. But it’s fun and creates a great sense of energy and dynamics.